I have been
to Hell…a couple of times and yes, it is real.
But then
again, I have been to heaven and it is real as well.
The previous
week has been a good week. This has been something I have not said for the past
four months…still actually pinched myself to believe that indeed it’s true. I have/had
become so accustomed to my bad luck streak aka disasters. After losing the job;
which didn’t help any better with losing my long life dream in the competition
which I’d mentally prepared for years, the trip to hell begun. I so don’t wish
to go there but for anyone who is going through hell, all you can do is keep
walking.
Onto the
better times…
Being in the
kind of debacle I was in taught me so much, still is. I have learnt to ask for
help, which is something I really have never done…to anyone or anything, but
ask the right people. I learnt to let my friends in, as the true ones slowly
came to reveal. I learnt to live life…a day at a time, no timetables because my
biggest lesson has been: WE PLAN, GOD LAUGHS. I learnt to appreciate family,
the power of true family and that there is a difference between family, and
relatives. Family, you choose whereas relatives, are chosen for you. But my
nuclear family: Parents and Siblings; were right there waiting for me to need
them, something I had never considered ever in my life.
See, I have
always been the go-to person. I have never been the person who goes to others. Oh
how hard I’ve learnt that man is no island!
I have
slowly learnt that God is still on the throne, no matter what the situation
looks like. Literally. This was driven home every night my Mom would call and
through tears she told me things would work out. At one time, I really wanted
to stop praying; it really wasn’t working for me, or so I thought but then,
what would I be left with? So every day, Morning, Noon and Night, I religiously
thanked my father; even for that which I didn’t have, even for that which I knew
wasn’t coming because my short-sightedness wouldn’t allow me to see any good in
tomorrow. And I know he listened…still does.
I still don’t
have a job. Check.
I still have
to work above and beyond to pay my bills. Check.
I still have
SLE. Check.
I still
question why it had to be me? Nope. JK. I quit that shit.
I still have
my overzealous smile? Check.
God is still
on the throne? Check.
See what I mean?
Lesson learnt, the hard way. But all in all, happiness is finding its way to
me, the original owner. After all, attitude is everything.
Yours,
A Happy
Girl,
Nyandia.
