WHEN GOD IS SILENT…

Dear Diary,

Mornings like these I wake up on edge. After probably a few hours of sleep due to insomnia, too many dreams and nightmares, anxiety, weakness due to my meds…see the trend? This has been my past two months or so. I am tired of it. It’s like a part of me is dead, clearly. I pray about everything, even when I do not find an answer to anything at all, even when nothing makes sense at all, even when he chooses to be silent, I still look up to him.

I am in an utter state of confusion, what next? No employment? Hell yes. But then, bills to pay. So many ideas, dreams and visions fill my mind when I think about it, but where to get the capital to make even one a reality? Normally when I freak out, I prefer to do so silently…no one needs to know my shit. But this time, I am freaking out for real. I’d so love to go back to school and do my masters and PhD back to back but then again, tuition? Another roadblock. One by one in each and every way possible to me, everything I can think of gets cut off by some reason. Ugh!! Speak of utter frustration.

Every time I tune to the book of Ezekiel: ‘Speak to your dead dry bones’ I do so but man! Are these super dead or what? Inwardly, I am slowly dying and it is reflected outwardly. Too many hardships, too much pain, too much numbness. Perfect wording. Numb. I am numb. Which is worse than pain as it is a result of too much hurt. No one can understand, until you have walked a mile in these shoes. Nothing seems to help or be a resolve…I am tempted to drink but then again I think; with my current health status, who would that be harming more? See what I mean? A Roadblock everywhere.

God really is silent. Whatever test this is? Only he knows why. I don’t think anyone can take as much. It honestly is too much.

Too much.

I read that each and every dream and passion in us is kept there by him, for his fulfillment. I want to laugh at this statement but then again, we are dead without hope. I choose to believe that the teacher is always silent during the test, to not mistake God's silence for his absence. So I choose to hope and pray that soon enough, my sun will rise again; soon enough, the storm will calm; soon enough, it will be done.

After all...
When God is silent, He is not still. God does some of His best work in the dark. Trust Him-He's there. - Tony Evan

Nyandia. 

LET IT GO

I resigned.

Yes I did. On the 20th of October 2014. I handed in my resignation.
Every morning I wake up, with so much going on I ask, What If? In my pageant situation, I could not do anything but in my work situation, yes I can. A very long stride aka a leap of faith and with pride and tears, I handed it in. Here's one reason..

Two months ago, I get a transfer letter and it's quoted... With immediate effect. To a different town in a kinda rural place. Here's my problem : I have SLE, I have Severe Chronic Colitis  and UV itis. Weekly, I have to go to hospital and has been the case for the past 4 years. I need my doc, I need my calm weather and the new place, the cold will kill me. To top it all off, I've been switched departments... From ICT and social media to Marketting. Yeah right! Like that ever work. See, we are in ICT because being geek is in our DNA. For me, it was chosen before I was born... I'm good at it, nay very good. And I was about to start my MSc and PhD in the same. So this isn't a question.

I call my Mom, I'm crying, I'm shaking and shivering. I leave the office and head to a coffee house to meet Christian. Tears stream down my face , a lady comes over to out booth... 'God is in control' she whispers. This is the second time in 10 months this has happened. Just a few weeks after my documents weirdly go missing in HR. I have to justify my stay in the capital. My need for the good weather, my need for availability of a 24/7 hospital, my need for my specialist. Once again, I have to prove I have a health condition. I remember painfully when it happened again. The boss on my face screaming at me that I was feigning sickness, asking me not to step into the office building without evidence of a doctor's note all this in front of my workmates. Previous day, I'd admitted myself at the Karen Hospital, had a minor procedure performed and had later discharged myself and was at work the following day, woozy and in pain. All this, I did by myself probably only two people knew as I didn't want to loose my job. This job I have so loved and have sweat blood for. This procedure was to prove I had severe chronic colitis. Great! Lupus wasn't enough.

I have lost prior jobs due to my health. The inability to work with certain conditions. These situations and people are the ones who make people like me ask,  'Why Me' the very reason for most of our psychological pain. These are the people who say it in words and action, 'We need a healthy person'  to your face. I know it's wrong to question God but I admit, more than once... I have. To him and to my Mother. To be honest, you can never understand until you've walked steps in my shoes.

Right now, I write this. I wrote a letter asking for a reconsideration with all the necessary letter and evidence but ni reply a month later. So I have no option. I have to resign or else I'll find myself in disciplinary. And yesterday I got a letter, accepting my resignation but also stating that I am to repay my one month gross salary. I hadn't realized my insurance was cancelled immediately and I went for a check up. My hands and legs have been acting up, intense bone and join pain with swelling. After consult and meds, I get a call from insurance, you're not covered hence have to foot your bill:11,000 Ksh. In cash. Just for one day. My nights are full of tears and the days, well the days are spent trying to get by.

My Mom keeps quoting 2nd Corinthians 20. 'The battle is the Lord's' it says. But this battle, my God, till when? It's worn me down. The disease eats at me and the stress and emotions as well. It's unfair is all I murmur just as I am about to fall asleep.

Nyandia.

MISS WORLD KENYA 2014/2015 FINALS

Yaaay!!! My roommate won!! A girl with an old beautiful soul won!! I am proud!

It was a beautiful 6 hour event at the KICC in Nairobi. Starting at 10:00 p.m. the girls begun with an introductory dance which included a dance to former TPF (Tusker Project Fame) finalist Steve. After which every girl from the final 24 counties was introduced in a beautifully choreographed catwalk. The EMCEE’s for the night were Former Miss Kenya USA and Capital FM News correspondent, Miss Angela Muiruri and Easy FM’s homerun co-host and comedian Obinna Ike.

After the introduction and entertainment, the cultural wear category followed and my lord! Had the beauties prepped! African and Flawless are the words I believe. Miss Taita Taveta won this category with her calabash lades outfit covering her ta-ta’s and a beautiful finish from the waist below. #TembeaKenya comes to mind. After this, musician Shanky Radics performed.

Evening wear followed and the girls had on their crowns. Miss Tharaka Nithi had a major crowd with pluckards and signs. The epilepsy ambassador remained calm despite the major uproar. The beautifully crafted gowns had each their time on the runway as the girls donned and rocked them. It was a moment. After this was the designer’s traditional wear and talent was at its best! The major performance of the night was by nameless right after the 12 finalists were named by their counties: Tharaka Nithi, Nairobi, Kajiado, Machakos, Elgeyo-Marakwet, Nakuru, Kirinyaga, Kilifi, Kiambu, Bungoma, Murang’a and Nyeri who proceeded onto the Question and Answer Session.

After Q n A, five finalists were named from the 12: Machakos, Kajiado, Bungoma, Kirinyaga and Kilifi. And the other involved titles were named and awarded right before the final crowning. Miss Beach Beauty went to Miss Kirinyaga County, Miss Beauty with a Purpose went to Miss Tharaka Nithi County for her championing the Epilepsy campaign in Kenya, and Miss Talent went to Miss Kilifi County while Miss Congeniality went to Miss Narok County.

The moment was finally here, at around 4:00 a.m. EAT the 2^nd runner up was named: Miss Bungoma County, 1^st Runner up: Miss Kirinyaga County and Finally Miss World Kenya 2014/2015 Miss Idah Nguma: Machakos County was crowned. I was so happy for her. I scream myself voiceless…it was fun!!!!

Off to the counties we go! Our champion project: Smile Kenya-Cleft Lip Palate must be kicked from Kenya!!

My Project as Miss Laikipia County: Bringing the World to the Village Child through technology and education.

My FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/misslaikipiacounty?ref=hl

Twitter Handle: @Nyandia_G Instagram handle: @nyandia_gachago

I am open and welcome to ideas to make our counties and country better hit me up on any social media channel and I’ll definitely hit you up back lol. I love you all.

P.S: THE PHOTOS...Not yet pro, i'm getting there. Just had to share with you the journey

Blessings and Love,

Nyandia Gachago

Miss World Kenya Laikipia County

BACK TO WORK? WHY NOT BE SELF SUFFICIENT.

Oh well, even I didn’t see this one coming. So basically, I’m back to work. I really wish I would share some of the things that happen in workplaces but I know one day I will, when the storm has set in and the tide is low. It is not of ill but of reality, not of malice but of a naked truth. Why self-sufficiency should be the only thing on a young person’s mind especially.

Today I got to work late. It’s my second day back after almost two months and it’s tougher than I thought. After all that has been happening, I thought my life was going to get better with time and I thought that ‘with time’ was going to start or would have already started. I guess it takes a day or two for one’s schedule to be back like to a functional 8-5 work day. Being back on meds is not making this easier and the fatigue and insomnia is haunting. I am one hour late to work. I am ashamed. But I know tomorrow and the consequent days will be better. Too bad I got a harsh warning from someone today, like a psychological thrashing of sorts. No level of explaining could be understood or justified so I sealed my lips. Well, up until it almost got ugly and I defended myself. Story for another day.

Beginning next year, God willing and bless my soul; I will have different lyrics, will be singing a different and new song. A much more melodious one. But for now, I’m learning. Learning to dance in the rain, instead of just sulking in wait for the storm to pass. It then hits me on how much I have seen my parents suffer in the hands of mental, emotional and psychological slavery in the name of employment. Oh boy! This cannot be a cycle. This WILL NOT be a cycle. I refuse. You should refuse. We need to mentally, emotionally and psychologically free ourselves, cut the damn chains and venture into creativity and thought. I know I have. Bae and I have a shoe business, though it starts slow at first and requires immense discipline and patience, in the end it does and will pay off. Think of something you can do, get some capital and do it!

Next stop for me, fashion. Every single dress I have hit the runway in, has been my own creation and EVERYONE loves every single piece. Why not make money out of it huh? Transport as well is also way up there. It requires immense capital but the reaping…boy oh boy. Farming as well aka agriculture. There are so many places my mind goes to when I think of venturing and you know what? Why not now. It’s time to break the cycle, time to break the norm, time to be free.

What do you think my dear reader? Share with me.

Blessings and favor,

Nyandia.

Bae, Babe, Love, Hun, Darling…IS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS?

Beloved readers, guess who got themselves in a few hours fight in the dead of the night? Yup. Read my mind. Me. Lol Living the kind of life I live with the likes of the people I meet along the way. I have learnt to really take very little personally because honestly, it really is never that serious. Right? Right.

My scenario is pretty bleak. Why? Because I have friends who will always call me Bae and Love and the problem, my Mr. doesn’t approve. To him, it is utter disrespect and tolerance of crap as well as flirting on my side. Now I’m sorry to sound mean but, one can only take the sheep to the watering hole but can never force it to drink the water. Over and over again I actually have insistently and persistently asked these friends especially the males to refrain but boy! Was I barking at the wrong tree. My resolution? Ignore. After all, it honestly is never that serious. At one point a few of them pointed out the fact that maybe I thought they were getting personal and hitting on me whereas this was not the situation at all, this is what they call all their good friends.

My friend Mzito always begins his texts or calls with ‘Hey Love’ despite the fact that he probably is in bed with a girl. I think it all boils down to affection; basic fondness. I believe one can tell when someone is legit ‘babe-ing’ them and when they’re just being nice because you’re good friends. This is what he doesn’t understand. This is where I believe compromise comes in. I am not the snoopy people, trust me I’ve had my share of drama and I believe I am worth the very same benefit of the doubt. I personally would never go raving and insulting while insinuating to him that he is flirting or cheating just because some weirdo said, ‘Whassup boo’. I choose to not be petty.

Having gone through the kinds of things I’ve been through in my 23 years (bullying, family breakage, abusive relationships, major health conditions, being in the entertainment world of pageants and all), I choose what should annoy me and what to surpass. I choose to pick my battles and pick them wisely. I choose when and when not to poke a bear. I was partly raised by a man so I know when to shut up. I only wish the same was reciprocated.

But one thing in mind, life is too short. Especially in my case where this I know too well. Too short for disappointments, too short for arguments, too short to not laugh at yourself, too short to not laugh at life. Live and Let Live are the words I live by. After all in this life, no one will make it alive. Live and live it well.

Blessings and Life,

Nyandia.

SEALED FATE? BROKEN VIRGINITIES AND WHAT NOT

Heck no!

After my previous blog, I know most of you are wondering what next with me. Personally, I slowly am figuring that out, one day at a time. So for now, I live each day as it comes and boy! Has it been interesting! Truthfully, the tears have been coming of course. I mean, when you have so much burning passion for something and then somehow it doesn’t happen as you’d thought or expected after years of waiting for the right time and all, you’d be deeply heartbroken.

I honestly didn’t expect to recover this quick. I’m not yet there, but I will be. So a day after the event: Monday, as we are out of the hotel and meandering around the coast in our branded vehicles, we get called into a meeting. So apparently some girls left the academy immediately after the event without letting the administration aka the chaperone and principal and director know. Some of these girls (two to be exact) had qualified to the finals. The Miss World Kenya academy principal, Odada Okello who is also the former Mr. Kenya, announced that they had been ruled out of the competition and two girls would be replacing them. Wait, What? How did that just happen? Hmm that is an unexpected turn of events. Well, today is Saturday and the next academy for the finals begins tomorrow or Monday at the latest and still, no word.

Don’t get me wrong but I kind of have already accepted what happened. After all, there is a reason the Lord’s Prayer includes a ‘thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven’ right? Ok so back to reality!!! This week, I have done a full photo-shoot so as to have a portfolio AND guess WHO BROKE THEIR ON-SCREEN VIRGINITY? Yes! Me! I shot an ad campaign. Tough at first but got it soon enough and it was fun!! Who knew I would be shy in front of a camera at first? Hmm this experience really has come with a lot. I didn’t think I would actually be busy and have opportunities and chance like this. God indeed does work in mysterious ways. I really am hoping for more and am totally content with what I have…though God, a bit nay a massive opening of the heavens down on me would be pretty awesome.

I have made my peace with God. And though I may cry once in a while, it’s because I care. Because I had a vision that burnt so much in me…and I still do. I hope to continue with my project and Yes, I will. I plan to bring the world to the village child. Yes, you heard me right. And you know what, already have found interested partners. God indeed is faithful. Heaven indeed is smiling down on me.

Blessings and Love,

Miss World Kenya Semi-Finalist: Nyandia. 

D-DAY DAY OF RECKONING: LAST CAMP DAY

Or so we thought.

I’m sorry, took a while to post this. Reason being, No, I’m not bitter lol but immediately after the event on Sunday morning, I actually started blogging but then my Laptop gave up on me and I had to wait until I was back in Nairobi, which was yesterday so I could use my Hardware and Software Engineering Skills and perform a miracle. I ended up downgrading it back to Windows 7!! I feel robbed. 6GB, 750GB, 2.8GHz CORE i5!!! I’ve had you for the last three years c’mon!! Why do this to me now?! Ok Ok…I’m going out of topic

After an intense class, we head in for the prejudging…in our bikinis. This is my first time ever wearing a full bikini, in front of people. To be truthful, I’ve had issues with my body. Due to the Lupus, I’ve always been on medication especially supplements and sometimes, steroids and we all know what those can do to the body. So, as much as people tell me my body is fine…I do have some issues. Especially in a boot camp like this one where almost everyone is short of 50kg. Oh well, it did not go as bad as I thought, in fact it didn’t go bad at all and soon after, we were shooting in our bikinis and crowns and sashes at the pools and the beach. Yeah you go girl!!! Just a few more gym sessions and ill have this ass and these thighs toned up fully. PSSST…haven’t been to the gym since we got back, fatigue and other issues.

We pack and head to our respective rides to the venue and in two hours we are at Malindi Pata Pata Beach. We rehearse and after a few glitches here and there, we get it…or at least get better. At around 7p.m we go in for our dress fittings with the designers followed closely by hair and makeup. Not to spit bile but it took about two hours and a half for my hair to get done, twice and with almost the same result. Didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out that id undo everything and opt to let it flow, even our chaperones noticed. This did get me a bit on edge as everyone else’s hair, my lord! Perfection. I guess it was just one of those times huh.

Show starts at Midnight! Who ever heard of that?! Lol this is how they do things at the coast I guess. My brother is in the crowd. Oh I best not mess this up, I’ll be super embarrassed. Our dance routine is up and Lord!! We killed it! Fally Ipupa’s sexy dance was the best idea ever!! We killed it!! Up next was casual, followed by African and then dinner.  Next up, we were asked to introduce ourselves and our respective counties.

I’m up next to talk. Suddenly, the lights go out. The crowd goes into a bit of a frenzy and after a minute or two, which seems like a lifetime, they are back. I take the mic and head to the front. I say my name and where I am from. I freeze. Breathe Nyandia, Breathe. I start speaking about my county and I get a brain freeze. For the first time in my life, I froze on stage. I redeem myself somehow but I want to run out and cry buckets. I have NEVER EVER been afraid of a crowd. Today, something happened. At the make it or break it moment, I break. Yes, I have been doing public speaking since third grade. This moment, I cannot explain. Tears well up in my eyes. As much as some other girls mess up a bit, others hit the nail on the head, sending the crowd in an uproar!! Why God, Why? I don’t understand this.

As the second group heads to stage, I rush backstage and curse at myself. I send a text to my brother and to the bae, I messed up, I messed up big time. I am not that tall so for me, there wasn’t really any room for err. I let the waterworks begin but soon after, I have to compose myself. The girls keep telling me it was ok, but it is a competition after all. The results are here.

24 girls are chosen, yes. I didn’t make the cut. I think it is due to my mishap but then other girls had issues as well yet they made it. I head backstage and I’m met by a crowd of the prejudges, arms open wide, they let me cry, they ask why and soon after, I get my answer, my height. Sadly, none of the marks attained at the week-long camp were applied in the final decision. It all came down to those few runway hours. Not Fair, I tell myself. Not fair.

Why did God bring me this far only for me to be ashamed? Why put such passion and desire and fire in me for this for years only for him not to fulfil the desires of my heart? I ask him. I say I won’t talk to him, after all…he wasn’t there for me. (This is the crazy talking) The past months have been a roller coaster to me. Hell sums it up in a word. At work, oh lord! Blog for another day. My health, oh well. I rush out and look for my bro, who deeply encourages me. The fact that the judges and prominent personalities keep insisting I will go far, makes no sense at all right now. After all, I am broken.

Bud ride back was quiet. It was seven in the morning after all. Everyone is worn out. There’s a mixture of emotions in the air as well. I congratulate each and every of the girls who made it and even make an announcement in the bus. Though I am dying inside, I am a sucker for good. Straight to bed and I try blogging this out, my computer crashes on me. I mean, even my best friend at the time, crashed on me. Could it get any worse?

I call my Mom, she is heartbroken. I let it all out and ask so many questions. I ask why things don’t go well for me. I ask why I am a subject of bullying at work, I ask why I have to explain my illness to people over and over again just to get an equal chance at everything, I ask why I had to be the one popping sometimes ten pills a day at 22 years, I ask why I had to be the one to always be a victim, I ask why God let me down over and over again, I ask why me. I let it all out. This is the closest I have ever been to my Mom. I let it all out.

……continues in a day.

MISS WORLD KENYA SEMIFINALS: DAY FOUR

Tomorrow is the D-day and as cliché’ as this sounds, the closer we come to the end, the more intense and hectic it gets. Basically Today we slept for about four hours after an intense dance and workout session till past 1a.m and by 6 a.m. we were up for work out and more dance which lasted a bit over three hours as we included the perfection of our catwalk choreography as well as our dance choreographies in our respective groups. Can you imagine being in heels from as early as 7:00 am for an entire day? 6-inch heels, that is. Fun!

We rushed to freshen up and have breakfast and were given 20 minutes to do so, but knowing girls; we took just a bit longer and nearly got penalized! The whole lot of us! Phew! Dodged a bullet there huh? Tree planting with the Maendeleo ya Wanawake Chair as well as the Minister of Tourism Kilifi County was up next at a local school in Malindi, about an hour and a half from our current residence. Happy to be in flats, we rested in the vehicles till we were told we had to be in heels for the entire time, and a short time it was not. The ground was rough with some sand and rock patches and a few girls barely escaped with their lives. (6-inch heels are not a joke) I kid! Though some nearly did sprain their ankles. The exercise took us through to the evening after which we had our packed lunch (a sausage, a white bread cucumber, butter and tomato sandwich, an Orange and a fine piece of chicken). #Models

We got back on the road and head to the event venue at Pata Pata beach which I guess must be close to the Vasco Da Gama monument and my lord, the venue!!! Speechless! From the fine sand, to the seats to the people….pure niceness. We got a chance to experiment with the stage which was at one end of a humongous tent at the same beach hotel. People really have some crazy and large investments AND it is owned by a lady who has her own line of hair as well. Yes guys you heard it right. Hair. Synthetic hair that is.

We head back to base and were given 15 minutes to freshen up and be ready and dressed to impress for dinner at the Governor’s mansion. Of course I need not comment on the 15 minutes right? Right. We were there by ten and had a cocktail that was basically heaven in a glass. Followed by fine dining by the beach as it is a beach house right after the Governor and his office had welcomed us heartily. Oh Lord, the food!! Mmh mmh mmh we got into our groove and danced a bit till it was midnight and we had to leave so as to retire to our camp, one hour away for some beauty sleep, literally.

When I wake up, it will be the day of reckoning. After the 8 O’clock class, there will be Pre judging which will have a Q n A session and a bikini session. Then the event at the evening. Oh lord! This is purely at your feet. Remember guys, voting ends tomorrow…oh yeah and today morning voting was reset to zero and had to restart. Thank you so much to all who have been voting please do not cease and involve friends and family as well (www.missworldkenya.com and click on Miss Laikipia County and Vote) as well as sending me messages of hope and congratulations and prayer. I receive them all and send blessings and love and favor your way.

God bless you all

Nyandia.

MISS WORLD KENYA SEMIFINALS: DAY THREE

Here I am, on my bed. Today has been a fun day. Woke up by 6a.m.  for work out just after 5 hours max of sleep, had a tree planting and photo session with the Sun n Sand Family here in Kilifi, had a two hour catwalk session after which some went to town to acquire some items they lack while those of us who opted to remain took walks by the beach collecting sea shells and swimming in the pools. Yes. Indeed a fun day.

My current team and I have immensely improved in our choreography, everyone is catching up and though some have a fierce fight in them for themselves, others are patient and choose to help. After all, a group is only as good as its last cum slowest member. I am torn, between being the super competitive person I am and being helpful and kind to everyone. I know, I know I should do what is right after all, that is the person whom God created me to be thus I can only pray that I prevail in each and every situation even when sometimes it calls on me to leave my own personal wants for someone else’s. Does anyone feel me? I’m sure someone does.

Being a vocal person, sometimes it does come out wrongly especially to people who do not seem to understand that it is natural and we do not choose to be who and how we are. Trust me, getting a thrashing on that parade in Primary School for being in a certain list of noisemakers was no fun but this is who God made me to be. For years, I questioned God on my ability to talk lol and for years I tried to change and be a quiet person, little did I know the plans he had for me; plans to give me a future and a hope as the good book says. It took time to accept myself as I am after years of being shunned but I am happy and this is me. Of course being talkative does not mean one should not be disciplined and learn how to listen; after all that is why we have one mouth yet two ears… I continually learn to be better at this with each passing day.

Oops I have to prepare for dinner, then a probable catwalk. Sleep time tonight might be the same as yesterday. Wish me well hunnies, I wish you well in all that you do; God’s favor be with you.

Blessings and Love,

Nyandia.

MISS WORLS KENYA SEMI-FINALS BOOT CAMP: DAY TWO

I am blogging this on the morning of the third day Reason will be evident in a few. After waking up to thorough exercise at six a.m. on day two, we had classes and then came the catwalk session…yes. We were choreographed for two hours straight on the introduction and casual categories respectively and I must add, it is intense. Great of course but intense. By 6:00 p.m. we were asked to go change into some comfortable beach sports outfits and had competitions in our carious teams: Blue, Green, yellow and Red in Beach volleyball and the pull rope. *Have no idea what else I can call it*

My team: Team Blue made it to the semifinals but it got dark before we could claim our champions title, which we will today, in Jesus name Amen. Lol I choose to be optimistic like that. There is no room for err let alone pessimism and disheartening. Here, one cannot afford to have that. We then went to freshen up and prepare for dinner after which the best dressed for the evening was picked, too bad I didn’t win. Oh well, you win some and you lose some, right?

Entertainment followed after which we were very pleased to go rest or something. Shock on us as we were told to hit the runway…My group, group one; mainly composed of the ‘short’ girls mind you which is 5’6 to 5’7 had work to do but we got I right. By midnight, we were drained. Literally on 1.5% body charge. Thinking we were wrapping it up, we then had to rehearse our introduction dance moves. Yes. And for my group, Lingala it is: Fally Ipupa’s sexy dance! My Lord, at barely 1.5% charge; your waist literally gives up on you. Lol but we did what we could and presented what we had to the judges. You need not be a rocket scientist to know that it was quite bad as coordination was probably 30%. But today morning, we are getting it right, 75% there.

By 2:00 at least we had all gotten to our rooms and were on lights out. This is really not for the faint at heart. It takes God, will power, passion and strength; mentally, physically and psychologically to make it through. I pray to grow stronger with each day, learn and perfect the art of endurance while at the same time becoming the best at catwalk and having my own signature walk. Your prayers are what is getting me through. As are your wishes and votes. (log on to www.missworldkenya.com and click and vote for Laikipia county) I love you so much. God Bless You.

Blessings and Love,

Nyandia.

MISS WORLD KENYA SEMI FINALS BOOTCAMP: DAY ONE

The countdown is on. By Sunday morning we will have been cut down from 47 to 24. 24 of the best, the best of the best of the Country’s most beautiful women.

Midnight of the 30^th Day of September 2014 is the time we get into the resort. Name: Sun n Sand Resort in Kilifi of the Kenyan coast. It is beautiful, Nay; that is an understatement. Heavenly is more like it. The rooms are super spacious, save for the amazing roommate I have: Miss Machakos County whose name is Idah. By the time we are allocated our rooms, have had dinner followed by a brief meeting, it already of 2:45a.m. By the time we are done showering and into our beds, 3:00 am. And you know what? By 6:00 am we should be at the beach jogging and stretching.

As I type this, I am so worn out I can hardly position my keys well on the keyboard. Woke up by 6:00 am (some of the girls could not make it and slept through the intense workout session) was in class for our Etiquette session by 9:00 am courtesy of our chaperone Roselyn through to around midday for another theory session on Modelling 360 courtesy of former Mr. Kenya Odada Okello then after lunch, stepped into the practical catwalks session lasting till around 7:00 pm courtesy of Mike who is an acclaimed model in Kenya. Oh and ladies and gentlemen, we have all been in heels from *wait for it* 7:00 a.m. in the morning!!

Having slept for less than three hours especially after a gruesomely long drive of 12 hours to the beautiful Kenyan coast, I believe we all agree on just how much we are all passionate. I personally am. I actually wanted to hit the gym this evening try and tone my lower body but boy! Who am I kidding, I can barely lift a plate. This is indeed going to be an experience of a lifetime: a trail of trials and tests especially on endurance, character and grace. I can only pray to God that I can achieve this. I have really wanted this for a long time: my big break, my chance at giving back, my chance to change my country and the world, one county at a time. The future, my future is entirely in God’s hands and somewhat in mine as well as yours. Please remember to vote vote and vote some more. Within Kenya, send the text: Miss Laikipia County to 22019 and without, go to the website www.missworldkenya.com and vote for me.

Out of the 24, 12 will be picked via social media and the other 12 will be courtesy of the judges.  Just from having my measurements taken, Gah! Of course I had to be among the shortest girls here at 5’6 making it worse I am also in the upper half of the somewhat curvaceous ones having hip size of 38. Oh well, let’s see what this boot camp has in store for me. God, I really need you in on this. Amen

Blessings and Love from the Coast,

Nyandia.

Miss World Kenya BootCamp: Here She Comes!!

Here I am, amongst the 47 most beautiful women in Kenya. All of us in the hopes of winning the coveted Miss World Kenya crown thus have a fair shot at the overall Miss World competition. All of us, different backgrounds, different stories, different reasons, different passions but all looking to the same direction for the same reason; to win. We are driving to Malindi, along the Kenyan Coast for the semis: Saturday is the D-Day, only 24 will make it to the final academy. This far, the Lord has brought me. Miss Laikipia County, Malindi here I come.

Looking around, most girls know each other. Either from working together in promotions, adverts, runway events, fashion week, other pageants and so forth. I know no one at least I didn’t previously. I hope and pray to make new friends and learn along the way. Everyone needs somebody, trust me humans are not lone beings…especially in existence. This is going to be a long journey, given the distance from Nairobi, the capital. Probably we’ll be arriving at midnight. There is a chance of intimidation, of having a low self-esteem, but I must not let such negative emotions creep up my mind. When you take a glance, these are the finest, fit and most beautiful women around. Perfect body shape, perfect body size, perfect skin and dental formulae….oh lord! ‘Nyandia, you mustn’t.’ ‘Believe in yourself. You got this far didn’t you?’ ‘No!!God got me this far.’ That is the battle going on in my head right now.

All in all, I have no option but to strive to be the best. Despite being flawed in ways more than one, I believe this can be achieved. Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing at all. Not for a weird village girl in the city at least. So I’ll give you updates from the boot camp: wake up times and jogs and workouts as well as catwalk trainings as well and will introduce my friends as well. Some pics couldn’t hurt too right? I’ll try take some videos as well. So for now please go to www.missworldkenya.com and click on Miss Laikipia County and vote. You can also look me up on the 2014 county queens under Ruth Nyandia. Vote! Vote! Vote! And kindly invite your friends as well. Let’s do this!

Love and Blessings,

Nyandia.

TIME FOR THE UNDERDOG

Two or so months ago, I went to an audition 350KM away from where I reside for now. Back to my home town. Time had come. I had a horrible hairdo; no idea why I agreed to try it out, no makeup and was not as fit as expected. This was my biggest leap of faith. I arrived to find a crowd of girls had already gathered…slim, tall, fit, hot, make-up and all. One guy scream “Here is Miss Kenya, she just got here” Flattered I was just as I was nervous. My measurements were taken, keep in mind that I am like 5’6 and I was asked to get in line as a number was assigned to me. 21 or 22 I’m not sure. I was sweating profusely and praying when my number was called up, I walked to where was shown and the judges; 3 of them, all super attractive asked me to give them a walk, I nearly gave up.

I did the best I could though I felt it immediately on how terrible and torturous my walk was and gulped. Three years had passed since I had been diagnosed, three years since I had hit a runway, three years. I was more than rusty. Still, I kept the faith. Bae kept sending me messages of faith and hope as he knew how much I needed this, how badly I wanted this and still do. The judges queried me as expected and thank God I knew about my home area; thank God for everything, thank God for each and every circumstance because he indeed has a way of making and bringing out the best out of the seemingly worst situations.

I was more on I had not made the cut, especially after seeing my photos. My lord! Was I in bad shape! After hours of waiting, we were all called up, just after the last girl who was in a word-PERFECT. Did I mention the judges did point out on my body and how the gym was screaming out for me? So embarrassing but I promised myself and them that I’d be in better shape, for my own sake. Somehow, the judges liked me. Of course not withholding the better body shape. 19 of us to be precise had made the cut. Now, we had to wait. Just wait.

A week later, I got a text confirming I had made the cut and I was to await further instruction. *see what I did there* I lay in wait. And boy did I wait. I had taken one of the girl’s contact and we were both in the dark. Nationwide, the dates kept changing and no word came. After about a month and a half of silence, I let it be. God’s will be done. If it was not in my cards this time, it was definitely in the next. See how badly I need this?

2 months and some days later, I got the text: Standby for the next day. Wait, What? Surely not what I was thinking. Oh yes in Nairobi the following day was the boot camp and the crowning. A few anxiety attacks later, it hit me. We were here. The day of reckoning of phase 2 was here. One casual outfit, a Dinner outfit and heels was among the instructions. In mind I had replayed this day over and over again and believe me, this is not how I had seen it happening.

5:29 a.m. I was up anxiety and all. I’d packed the required and even more. Of course I couldn’t have anything to eat else id hurl my insides. Bae came over and we prayed and headed out. 9:00 a.m. I was where I was needed, too bad none other had arrived. By 12:00 we were only three and the session began. More came over with time. Catwalk time was up, I dreaded this, and I was scared stiff as I wore my six inches. I shocked myself. The trainer asked how id managed to transform myself and I said it was my Mom’s prayers, after all only God could have made this possible.

The time was due, judges were here and we were asked to change. I was so nervous I think I did one of the steps wrong but I pushed on. Bae had come to watch. No pressure. Two hours later, we were seated anxiously and nervously waiting for the results. Second runners up was up, next was first runners up and still my name had not been called out. I almost gave up. Till my name was called. I scream, inwardly. The shock was real, I couldn’t stop shaking as the tiara was placed on me and the photos went on and on. God did this for me. Yes he did.

About time I started believing myself again. About time I got my Mojo back and worked my way up to helping society. I am back!! Today, a few hours later; my feet kinda hurt and my knees are on fire. But it was all so worthy. Next week, the semis are up right after an intense one week boot camp. I am anxious and scared but eternally grateful. I pray, My Family Prays and Bae and friends as well for favor and blessings are unending. Time for the underdog.

Love, Prayers and Favor,

Nyandia.

WHY YOU LOST HER RESPECT/WHY SHE JUST WILL NOT RESPECT YOU

Guys really don’t seem to get it huh? They will literally go and do the same thing over and over again expecting the same results; just as women do but under similar but different circumstances. (See what I did there?) For the members of the clan of Adam, here is a few tips on why she disrespects you so much, it really is a no brainer.

1. You borrow Fare

Guys, Man! Your manhood is literally on the line here. Why would you go and borrow 30 bob surely? Have you sunk this low? Shame. If you’re not at this level with a girl; your ride or die girl, please don’t.

2. You made her pay for your stuff

This one time a guy who was hitting on me invited me to a cook out. I was like hell yeah!! I was really into the tall dark and handsome then. So off to the supermarket we went, I was taught that it really is rude to show up at someone’s place empty handed and I thought, why not bring drinks and maybe a snack? So when I started stacking up my basket, he did too; with cleaning and showering soap, personal effects and all. Oh also what he was planning to make for me. So I was like “of course he is paying for his stuff” When we got to the till, he excused himself to go pick some stuff we had left at the door and oh lawd! We all know who paid for all that shit. ME!! He went from a straight 8 to a –ve. Don’t ever do this.

3. You let her pay on the first date and even Implied on going Dutch

Hell to the No! Especially if you’re the one who asked her out. This is just wrong on so many levels. Be the man you should be, I mean; wear the pants just this once. And asking her to pay for her meal on the first date? Smh could anything be more wrong with you?

4. You wore recycled AND dirty clothes

If you asked her out and then somehow showed up with a smelly shirt and pants with a brown layer around the pocket area, what do you expect? You aren’t a toddler. You have no reason to be a smelly dirty freak.

5. You call yourself a ‘Sufferer’

#icant like I won’t even discuss this. You possess what you profess. It really is that simple.

6. You’re crazy mad infatuated with Boobs and Ass

Ok. First and foremost, we get it; you’re a man. Can this excuse die already? You don’t have to be the boob or booty monster especially when with a girl you claim to be hitting on. It’s just wrong on so many levels. Have some respect for her and your Mother as well c’mon.

7. You call other women ‘Bitches’

Who the hell is going to respect you when you disrespect women so much? You think its cool and hood? Think again. It honestly is immature and thick of you. Don’t. Just don’t.

8. You immediately mentioned Sex And/or an Ex on the first chat

Oh hunny, this is almost as painful as yelling someone else’s name when having sex with your partner. It’s weird and creepy and almost qualifies you as a sex offender. Nobody will even think twice about someone who talks about sex on their first chat. Guys, women think of sex probably even more than you do and trust me within seconds of meeting you, we already know if we’d sleep with you or not. Yet we don’t go around screaming about your junk. Get it.

PS: This is MY honest opinion and take cum two cents.

Hope it somehow helps you earn and maintain your dignity and respect.

Love and Balls,

Nyandia.

The Side-Dish Barbie vs. the Geek Chic

Darlings,

Today I met myself, or at least how I had thought I’d turn out a few years after high school. Who I wanted to be, who I wanted to look like, my idol.

Just from dropping a few pairs of shoes from my business at one of my friend’s choice meet place actually. My friend Eric, was with one of his best friends, sad that I cannot remember his first Name though. His friend Mr. Money Bags is a wealthy Married man and the many times I have heard Eric talk about him, it has always been about him and his tens of girls, out drinking and well, the inevitable…nights of crazy sex.

So, I waited in the car for them to come over and pick from the bunch I had brought and I stood and hugged my teddy Eric, then said hi to his friend. Moments later, I noticed a girl walk straight into the car where they had emerged…I ignored as I did not know whom that was. Soon we were engaged in business talk and five pairs were getting sold. Then, the guy called out to her asking her to come see the shoes. Oh lawd!! In this mud and cold and not too flashy hood which I had been assigned a driver to take me, stood a girl in six inch heels. A Light skin, fake lashed beautiful girl with a kilo of makeup and fake nails in hot pants and leggings walked slowly towards the car just in case her heels got stuck in the mud…

She jumped straight to the driver’s seat and said a casual hello. Whenever I come across a Barbie, I get a bit fearful for the fear of intimidation, the fear of disappearing in the shadows. But that never happens, weirdly enough because I come out with a very strong personality. Here I was, in my near thick geek Guess Marciano glasses, a hoodie, jeans and some oxfords. The complete opposite of who I thought I would ever be. I thought I would always be the Barbie, minus the married man of course.

Soon after we left, she joined the car I was in and the driver was instructed to drop her home first as it was closer. We left. My God! Did we drive! Honestly, I expected her to live in some suburb or posh leafy hood. How wrong I was. When we finally stopped, she alight and couldn’t even brace herself to say a goodbye. From the car, all eyes were on her; the skimpy dressing, the heels and the makeup. Poor girl, if she only knew how better and simpler the world was when you did right. I tapped the driver from the back and asked him where we were, he literally burst into laughter as he too had no clue. There were like a million people around. Swarms and swarms of people.

I looked back at my life as we drove away from the hood and thanked God for making me who I am. My whole 5’6 tech geek in non-fitting jeans, hoodies and glasses. At least I wasn’t working my ass off to please someone else’s husband and/or Dad. I do not judge but I am grown enough to know right from wrong. My heart goes out to all girls who are still growing up either younger or older than me, the temptations we have to face when we come face to face with tough and tricky situations and the consequences we have to pay for wrong actions.

Basically, kids; choose your idols wisely.

Blessings and Love,

Nyandia, Miss KeMU 2011 and Miss Congeniality Kenya 2012.

J J J

The Day I Nearly didn't give To the poor...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I write this with and in pain and with shame, but not of what I have done but of what is done to you.

As you go to work or get off work, you just want to go to the stage, take a matatu or a bus, sit quietly by yourself, with your earphones and wait for the conductor to religiously collect your fares and then get back to your quiet bus/matatu ride to your home stage.  But many a time, it is not so. We have psychological and mental torture shoved down our souls and throats in the name of beggars who have this and that sickness and are always a few coins away from a serious and repairing medical procedure. Also,  you may also get some weird preacher who claims to have healed so many people in a certain hospital that it is on the verge of closedown for the lack and decrease in patient numbers. He then goes ahead and tries to guilt your soul and spirit into sadaka aka offerings with verses and testimonies.  IT IS NOT FAIR.

Jesus gave to the poor and healed the sick and he asked us to emulate him. He also shunned thieves and robbers. I was shocked to learn that some of these beggars and pastors indeed have 'contracts' with the bus owners who get a commission of what you and I give. Very few and I mean a minute percentage of these sick and dying ever have any intention of seeking medical attention. I mean, after that? What are they supposed to live on? What are they supposed to do? Fend for themselves? God forbid they lift a finger!!!! Heavens shun if they break a bead of sweat!

The reason I write this is the fact that I just took a bus home and in here was a young man with severe celebral palsy;can barely talk and walk and he somehow convinced the bus owners to let him in and once the bus started moving, he was up; barely being able to walk, giving papers on which his life and photo is printed and insisting on getting money.  I am angry, not because of his condition but because I met him 4 years ago, in a Ngong road bus doing the very same thing insisting, if my memory serves me well that he needed funds for treatment. Ofcourse we know celebral palsy has none but they have doctors and physiologists who assists improve your motor sensory system.  Oh and boy did we give! One look at the young man and you'd burst into tears. I was so a much affected mentally and psychologically and prayed so often. Two years down, I met him again in the same buses along Ngong Rd and now 4 years down the line, here he was along Thika Rd. I guess people along Ngong Rd had known him and his sham. Because second time round nobody even looked at him.

So here I was. At the middle seat of the farthest from the front seat texting the bae, letting him know what I was seeing while expressing my frustrating experience and also trying to seem busy as I was so angry. He came straight at me, and handed me his paper, I tried to ignore but all neighboring eyes pierced me, bullets aside. Everyone was giving, sighing in sympathy and whispering among themselves. Oh if they only knew. He then shouted at me to take it and read it, the only way he could.  And more eyes came my way. I reached out to my pockets and got 50 Ksh and gave the 'poor guy'. Estimated, this guy makes around a minimum of 1000 from each bus. And God knows we have buses in plenty. Per day, you want to try calculate how much he makes? How about per month?  Don't even try annual earnings lest you'll die of shock. He probably makes 100 times more than you do, oh and wait... It is all tax free! This young man most probably has a bungalow and land to his name.

Personally, I know quite a number of people suffering with different disabilities but are gurus in what they do. Lord! I know one who makes 90% of  websites look like a joke. Also, we have people with serious illness: Lupus, Cancers, Diabetes, Rheumatoid and Osteo Arthritis but go to work every day, probably in intense pain and work their assets off. I say this because I know it. I live it.  These people and others do not use their conditions to sham and guilt and manipulate their way to a day off. Many a time I hide my sick off forms from the doctor and go to work because I have to make a living. Not once have I been summoned in the name of feigning sickness. Oh if they only knew. So I work my ass off, with inflamed joints, severe chronic colitis and S. L. E. and BTW my doctor, among the best Rheolumatologists in the country Dr. Simani, is a person living with disability. You should all meet him. Then see what I'm talking about. Mine, is the story of hundreds and probably thousands.

My dear readers, I do not forbid giving to the poor. But let's just try be wise at it. Let's quit enriching shameless pervs who are most probably waaay wealthier than 15 of us in a bus combined.  God knows I'm a sucker for them and the puppy eyes. Do what I try doing once in a while, I take one of them out for lunch. Especially the kids. Oh it's so much fun, you learn so much and thank God so much for what you have because to them, you're probably the wealthiest man alive.

Blessings and Affection,

Nyandia.

FILM LAUNCH AND BAPTISM SUNDAY

Dear Readers,

Being the sole introvert that I am, the lone wolf, hearing that I actually was out on a Friday night for whatsoever reason should be worth a Nobel. If you know of the Rwandan Genocide of 1994, you may also have known or heard of Emmanuel Twagirimana; the man who died from bomb shrapnel and seven days later woke up, body all rotten and full of maggots and recounted his death experience of both heaven and hell. Get this, in high school, my Mom bought the book ‘7 DAYS IN HEAVEN’ and I was intrigued and shocked at the same time and I always thought to myself on how I’d love to meet the man himself…and Now, here I was meeting, talking, hugging this man. Remember my previous writing on how life is composed of dots and with patience and discipline, you will somehow find the string attaching each and every experience and making all sense? Here was one of those moments.

Now, the question I am getting from people when they learn that I got baptized this Sunday is, you’ve never been baptized?! Why? Kwani your parents? If you’re of the Pentecost church, you should know that babies are not baptized; they’re dedicated. Mainly because baptism is a very personal and intimate step towards learning more of Christ and being like him. So my answer is, yes I had been baptized but back then I didn’t know what it really was, how much baptism weighs and how personal it is. And now, Now I know and I pray it be the beginning of a new and fresh chapter of my life.

Faith, my loves is a personal experience. Sometimes it is even hard to explain it and can only be expressed and lived as a culture, as a way of life. So here is to the New me; a new life, a new book, a new chapter.

Blessings and love,

Nyandia.

MOST ANNOYING TRIBES IN KENYA

Oh don’t judge me! Wait till you read this first. You know? Patience is indeed a virtue. Born Kenyan, Raised Kenyan both from the village and the town point of view, I have come to notice a couple of units which really, should be what we fight against. Not the 42 individual beautiful tribes that we are made to believe are the necessary evil. Here’s a couple:

      a.      The Matatu Tribe

OH Goodness, where to begin my lamenting! From driving on the sidewalks and insulting you, the pedestrian insisting that you want to be run over, to insulting an old woman who is trying her best to cross the street as fast as her frail body can telling her to take her age elsewhere… (Whatever that means) This is the biggest tribe to be shunned on so many counts of irresponsibility, recklessness and habits that only one can perceive as ungodly. NB: Not all Matatu Drivers and Touts do this just a vast majority especially here in the City of Nairobi.

      b.      The ‘Socialites’ Tribe

When did our girls become this cheap? Become this senseless? Become this classless? When exactly did our parents let us off the leash, completely? We all know from a certain perspective that indeed we really do not have real socialites but let’s just settle on calling some random, no-so-hot, ratchet girls that. Let’s also put them on literally every paper as soon as they come asking and begging for attention. While at it, why not pay them hundreds of thousands to appear on commercials and videos? #icant

      c.       The MPigs Tribe

This is a song whose tune has been sung and continues to be sung and will still be sung as long as we never change our thoughts and begin acting and thinking as individuals instead of weird units. Truth be told, NONE of us have ever had a Parliamentarian bring them food to their house in the evening especially after following them around in the name of rallies let alone invite you to their Mansions in the suburbs for a drink of water. NONE of them ever paid your child’s fees. In fact there’s a chance that some of them have slept with your daughters, classmates and will sleep with your children just for a buck and a drink. Oh, I have your attention now? Good.

      d.      The ‘Classic105’ Lamenter’s Tribe

Oh Goodness! Aren’t those two guys great at their jobs? They rake in millions and also serious listener and caller ratings. Anyway, my issue is with most of these callers. Men and women who call in to justify infidelity. The brainwashing of so many women to acceptance of some weird accepted norm that ‘All men must cheat’, Those who call to shame their spouses, the mother of their children, that man you go home to, that woman who cleans your undies even after soiling them while in another woman’s house. Yes!! That tribe should be shunned.

      e.      The ‘Sponsor’ Tribe

Here we are again, most of the politicians and wealthy businessmen fall here. They pick these poor boys and girls from their dorms just outside campuses in sleek German machines and take them to specific known locations and hideouts. She or He is most probably 19 or 20, from the village and has never tasted alcohol, barely has money on them to buy their basic necessities and that pot-bellied warthog-faced man or woman is in her 40’s and 50’s, wealthy and bored. Whatever the situation, there’s so many things wrong with the picture. Shun these people!!

      f.        The ‘Toa-Kitu’ Tribe

 Be it Kitu Kidogo or Kitu Kikubwa. This weekend, I took a matatu to Nanyuki and on my way back to Nairobi, there were probably 10 roadblocks and on each block, the driver always shook the hand of one of the cops. We all know what was going on. In public offices, be it trying to get a passport (mind you which you’ve paid a couple thousand for) you will still be asked to part with a couple more for you to get it within a specified period. Owe unto you if you’re in urgent need.

I most probably haven’t spotted each and every of these shunned people but trust me, there will be a Part 2. For a better people, individually and as units, for a better country and its leaders, for growth as individuals and as a nation, we need to shun these tribes. Do away with them as much as we can for our sake, our children’s sake and our children’s children’s sake.

Blessings and Love,

Nyandia.