WEIRD LIES THAT WOMEN TELL

Hello Beloved!!! We all know how kind of hard it is to deal with us, we the members of Eve’s clan. Sometimes it an automatic in some of these questions we are asked and sometimes it’s just I guess to try build class. I know it makes no sense and it is quite immature but it is true. Here are some of the things women lie about:

1. “I don’t eat Mutura”

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!! Hahaha Truthfully, women are curious as should be. So trust me, we have all tasted mutura. And probably loved it, and probably even have our main mutura man.

2. “I don’t fart”

Yeah, cause we are made of rays of sunshine and rainbows huh? We have the very same stomach as men do, probably even more hard given the things we put in it when pregnant or during our periods or right before and right after. So trust me, we can also be missile experts.

3. “I only had one abortion”

I will tread so carefully here. Personally I don’t keep friends who are into creepy stuff and trust me this is waaaay up over there on top of creepy things. From what I gather, as women talk and doctors alike; nobody and I mean NOBODY ever has one abortion.  I guess it’s like murder…the first time is the hardest but pretty soon after that it becomes norm. I remember reading an article on the DN on a certain lady from a local public University. To her it was so normal that she was on her seventh abortion, apparently she would go on her lunch break at 1p.m., go to the ‘doctor’s’ and by 2p.m she’s already back in class feeling fresh and all. YUP WTF!!

4. “I’ll be ready in a Minute”

That is such a joke on itself I cannot even expound on it.

5. “I’m Fine”

She is not fine. RED ALERT!! Stay with her and hug her and don’t let go until she lets go. With time, she will open up.

6. “Go Ahead”

MISSION ABORT!! I REPEAT, ABORT MISSION!! That’s just a dare. Don’t ever ‘Go ahead’

7. “Get In Now!!”

First and foremost, I’m referring to oral sex. If you think that you’re doing it so well that she just keeps tugging you up so you can thrust into her, oh boy are you wrong! When you’re going down on her, performing cunnilingus and you’re doing it right, she WILL NOT want you to stop. Don’t kid yourself. It’s about time you perfected your culinary skills. *see what I did there*

8. “That Was Amazing”

Now, not to point fingers or anything but if you really were that good, she would both be panting and struggling to catch a breath AND/OR be crying (if she is the emotional kind). Period.

9. “I’ve slept with [x] guys”

This goes both ways. Rarely will anyone ever admit to being a hoe. Simple as that. We all feel self-conscious when asked that question and honestly that’s the past. It probably haunts either of you enough. Let the past be just that.

Just so we are clear, not all women lie same way as not all men lie. It’s probably up to you and how well you know someone. I’m also not a relationship expert or an expert on either sex but well, there’s my two cents. Hope you had a good read.

Blessings and Love,

Nyandia.