Memories back then...

August 8th, 1997,  my youngest brother was born...I was fascinated cause I'd always hurdle on my Mom's belly and talk to him...how I'd take him to school, sing him to sleep, play and laugh with him and oh yes it all came to pass. So when one day I was playing as i was just 6 years old at the time, I woke up the infant and my Mom whacked my behind and sent me to sleep. When I woke up, My Mom was gone.

Just like that, my parents has separated. Nothing made sense oh wait, it all made sense now. I remembered the arguments and the frequent visits by my Dad's folks and brothers...I remember once my Grandad and GrandMa had come on their usual visits and I remember him shouting ,'I disown you!' to my Mom. At the time, it never made sense but now...It all did. Children are cursed with a memory of not forgetting traumas they undergo at their early life stages to the detail actually. I didn't so much understand why my Mom's in laws had so much despise for her yet she was the calm chill skinny beautiful woman. Guess what the reason was...she was born poor. The hell!! Yes. I remember going to granny's with my other cousins and My Big Bro and I would be asked to get out of the photos when we all wanted to take pics either on or beside myGrandad's motorbike. I never understood why. I remember the other people sitting in high tables feasting to chicken and chapatis literally dining in milk and honey but my Mom, Bro and I were always seated on grass. My Dad's brothers, their wives and children wee treated like royalty but us...We were the paupers....children whose mistake was being born to a Mom from a cow dung house.  To top it all up, of all the children born to my grandparents cause my Dad are boys only, my Dad is the eldest. The one who's supposed to be the most respected in all world cultures, the one everyone looked upto and came to for school fees that even we (Mom, Bro and I) lacked. I remembered every detail and still do and it now made total sense. My Mom took my small Bro with her and went to her Mom's as she was chased out of her own house, out of her own home and away from her children.  I do not want to talk about my Dad in this as he was and still is the chilled patient type who rarely say much. Staying with Dad was fun honestly as there's much freedom and weirdness going around though we were doing badly especially clothes wise. I would go with him to school as he is a teacher and would sit in his classes during weekends or would go to a certain family and stay with them as they were very close.

Now the joke is, at the age of 21...I went through something relative. My then boyfriend had a complication and needed open heart surgery. I was doing pretty bad healthwise as well due to the Lupus as it had gone internal and caused me Severe Chronic Collitis. I suffered in silence as i didn't want to make it about me. I would take a cab from home at 6 so I'd be by his bed when he called by 6:30 a.m and left sometimes late in the night at 11 at the same time admitting myself and discharging myself from hospital. His Dad HATED me and took every opportunity to show me and others including the doctors and nurses. One time just as he left the ICU, he started shouting to the nurses to not let me in saying I was competing with them. One time he couldn't stomach my presence and he shouted at me outside his hospital room saying all sorts of things and insisting I basically go to hell as i was not of their tribe and class. I called my Mom and told her everything as i cried and I could hear all the memories rush back. She cried and asked to talk to him and I told her I'd left the hospital...she asked me to tell him in her words, 'Let him know, that having money, isn't touching God. I isn't seeing the face of God' oh yes she couldn't imagine me going through what she went through all those years ago. Weird thing is, the owner of the hospital and Co-CEO refused to talk to the parents and at once asked them to leave as he and other cardiologists saw what was going on. I'm the one who had taken him for all check ups, all echos, all appointment, booked him in hospital, sat for hours outside the O.R. waiting until the surgery was done...They were the busy type. I have never known parents too busy to take a few hours off take their child to hospital especially in such a serious case. If my Mom read this,  which I am sure she will soon, she would cry.
God got me out of that relationship though it hurt like hell. The guy cheated once he was discharged lol yup couldn't imagine waiting for months to heal so he could be active again. I told everything to my Mom and this is one of the things that actually made us closer as she was the only one who truly understood what i was going through.

Once out of those mucky waters, I decided to love Myself and concentrate on my career and Oh Boy! Did God open doors and still is.

Basically...For those reading this who have just had children or gotten married since 98% of my friends fall here...please watch it! Men, protect your wives and Wives, speak up for your children cause we the Children end up with emotional, mental and psychological scars that take decades to heal. I would know. Remember, your children grow to be like you and in most cases end up making the same choices and decisions you made as they remember them. Be strong and do what's right by yourselves, by your children and above all, By God.  I always say the best thing my Parents ever did for me wasn't give me an education...It was introduce me to God and the Church.

Fathers, your sons will grow to be like you. Is that a good thing or a scary thing.

Blessings and Love,

Nyandia.