Time to change your friends?

Hey good people, been good? So,  I've been bothered by this topic for the past few days and the taunting got worse as I begun unwinding on my past and the many fakes I've shed in the name of friends. Ever heard of the quote,  'I asked God to show me my enemies and I started looking friends' ?  Uh huh same concept.
I made my own list of how I shed the fakes: (Every list is unisexual and applies to both gender) 

1.The ticks

I cannot even begin to fathom on where to start exactly. These are basically those people who hang onto your every word simply because they know you're their ticket to a meal, to coffee, to a drink, to a night out, and even to a taxi.  These are the people who basically suck the luxury out of you. They are your reason for being broke always even though you make a hundred grand per month. These people follow you around like a puppy and would literally suck your toes if you asked. They cling onto you and whenever you're headed out, they follow despite not knowing your direction. You can never ever benefit from such people as they have nothing going on for themselves and if they do, it's only a TGIF event which trust me,  right after they buy you the first drink... Everything else for the rest of the night is on you. Loose the ticks in your life and watch your pockets prosper.

2.The party animals

These are the people whose drinking spree begins at 2p.m. Thursday and ends at 11p.m Sunday. This isn't even the YOLO (You Only Live Once) crowd... Its much much worse. And it is literally every week. Not just on pay week but EVERY week. They are the reason you're unambitious and no matter being a dreamer, you will never be an achiever. These friends believe that life is as random as everyday and they may also be a reason as to why you're constantly broke. They can be the reason your marriage or relationship is in shambles,  the reason why your grades are pathetic and with time, the reason why you ended up pregnant and/or with an incurable STI. Rid yourself of such characters and watch your relationships with the important people in your life progress.

3. The players

What's that they say about show me your friends and I'll tell you your future?  Riiigght. Mmhmm it applies here. There is no way in hell... And heaven that you are much different from the people you choose to be a crowd with. I had a workmate who told me stories of how all his married friends have side dishes whom they cater to and even go on couples exchange affairs with.. (this is where couples meet at a specified secret location known to only them and interchange partners just for sexual gratification) oh yes you read that right. He though, insisted he would never cheat on his wife but guess what he's up to every Friday evening? I leave that to your imagination. Peer pressure happens everywhere at every age even when you think you're in no way vulnerable to such adolescent influences. When your friends talk about how much fun it is to have a young one at the side, trust me you're going to want to taste that forbidden fruit.
Bar your life and time from such friends and see your personal development escalate.

4. The Bitches & Mitches

These Ladies and Gentlemen, are the mouth offs. You know people who have nothing good to say about anyone or anything? You know people who have such an Ill attitude with such tenacious menace that no one likes them? You know those people who criticize your every action and thought? The people who are mean to everyone including beggars and security officers? They fall here. Being nice, doesn't hurt trust me I know. These kinds of people think nay, believe they're better then anyone else and everyone and everything else is beneath and under them. These people believe that they're actually your true friends when they say every negative thing about you and kill your every hope and dream. Rid yourself of these pesky people. First of all, habits are transmissible and if your friends are such, you're heading that road as well.

5. The P2 and Molly Popper

These are the pill poppers. I remember this one time when I was still staying in a hostel, one of my long time friends had become so used to me that she'd ask me to take her to the Pharmacist so she could get emergency contraception aka P2 pills. What killed me was that it was always with a different guy and that's completely buried me was the fact that she was so comfortable as to not hide her whoreish ways. That's when I decided I needed a change. Firstly, every person I know who has ever used emergency contraception, were always so ashamed of their actions and always did so in their own privacy so how far was she from the somehow straight path that she was totally open to doing it with no shame? I decided to shed people with such mannerisms as it really got to me.

6. The Aborters

I am so anti-abortion and have never hidden the fact. I do know that shit happens sometimes but it's not like you were raped or something cause that's the only excusable reason for wanting one according to me. When you were busy humping the brains out of that man cum boy, screaming his name to the top of your lungs that even your weave got entangled and grew edges and making his toes curl, did you not feel pleasure? We're you not sane enough to know the repercussions of not using a condom or some means of contraception? When the excuse is, 'We were so horny that we didn't even have time for foreplay let alone to get strapped' I wanna die cause Imma just say it... You a Hoe. And having sex unstrapped with a boy who you're so sure can't take care of you in-case you got pregnant? I pray for your soul tonight. Even my friends know I immediately and coldly disassociate myself  from aborters. IDGAF

7. The dirty smelly asses

I don't know if you people know this or even know anyone in particular but there are some pretty many, a bit too many anti-shower people in these streets. Yes even Women. I know of a girl and I pray to God she changed who would skip showering even on her period. Yes! I know! I barfed in my mouth as well. To top it all up, she was and still is from what I hear, an expert weed smoker. And my goodness, you should have seen her.. The typical beautiful lightskinned extroverted 5'2 dancer. In a word, HOT. It got so bad after our friendship got too strained that even her lecturers started sending people to tell her to shower and at one time, a staff member did the honors himself. You people need to realize that Cleanliness is next to Godliness and take it seriously.

8. The Bangers aka I just wanna be your BFF 

Oh I am so sure EVERY girl has heard and had this. And to top it all off, was warned by literally each and every of her friends and even relatives from this one. Now see, some of these Males and Females as well are quite sly. There's nothing as convincing as a friend, someone who has been there for you but is of the opposite sex but always insisted they wanted to be a best friend to you and weren't interested in sex or maybe they were but would never push it. By the way, most people who cheat while in relationships, cheat with these 'BFFs'... Just a heads up. When someone gets to know you so well even from the friend zone, they know what buttons to push to get you vulnerable. They know the exact things to do and say to get to your good side and soon your bedside. They know what steps to take in bedding you. These are psychos according to me at least. I mean, they take advantage of every sense you have from physical to mental to emotional and psychological sometimes even spiritual and twist themselves into fitting to your preferred standards of each. Be careful and watch out!  Men,  these Guys that your Girlfriends or wives claim to be their best friend and have been there for them through it all, Watch out!!  And Ladies,  these girls holier than thou that your Men claim to be their Best Friends and have been with them through thick and thin, Watch Out! Remember the saying 'A shoulder to lean on becomes a D to ride on'?  Well it goes both ways darlings. And don't get me wrong,  friend are amazing and a necessity in fact just not opposite sex BFFs

9. The borrowers

I bet we all have that one person we know or couple of people who always send you that self guilt tripping reverse psychology text insisting on how God will bless you all the way to your fourth generation and what an amazing soul you are and how heaven is missing an angel in the name of you then go ahead to state they need money either to take a girlfriend to hospital or to send home or for a new cool pair of jeans or shoe or whatever. Haha!! Bloodsuckers  these are. Now don't get me wrong, we do need a friend indeed when we are the friend in need but don't agree to be misused. Especially when it comes to that person who insist on how they're gonna pay even with interest but never ever pay and you probably bump into them the next day at a restaurant as they're paying for a massage. Please please let's be wise and know who to lend money to, trust me this kind of wisdom will take you a long way.
Oh yeah and especially Men who are used to being *gold dug? Be wise and use your brain. I'm sure you always know of when you're being used.

10. The unambitious ones

These friend are the people whose most ambitious words are 'I can't wait to get married' don't get me wrong, marriage is a holy and amazing institution but only when it is in the right time with the right person and in the right way. See those workmates whose 5year plan still has them working for someone?  Those college classmates who make it known they just want a well paying white collar job? The girls who don't believe they can buy themselves anything and God has to give them a man who will get such as such for them? Those people who are OK with being just comfortable? Yes those ones? Rid of them. I personally cannot and do not stand people with small dreams. It is so demeaning of your God according to me. See now,  the bible says that God,  our father, owns cattle over a thousand Hills. Same same Bible states that we should enjoy the rich of the land. Now tell me, is the rich of the land driving your Toyota 110 all the way till you're 50 when you can now get a Nissan  Sunny? These cars are good cars to drive but, what about the great cars? Who is a supposed to drive the CLS Mercedes? That G10 that's under assembly at this point and time, who's gonna buy it?  Oh I know.. YOU! dare to dream big. Dare to live in a castle. Your God really is that huge and that wealthy and nothing delights him more than sharing what he has with us, his children. Remember, when you hang out with four millionaires, you will be the fifth millionaire. Success, just like Failure is a disease and is transmissible... Pick your friends wisely.

11. The lonely ones

Ugh these people. Oh I'm lonely I need a man. Goodness why can't God give me a man. Please reply my message I'm lonely. Life suckers...leaving you lifeless. Leave me alone! Period. I need people with life, joy, happiness, godliness and full of love in my life and so do you my dear reader. So do you.
Once they suck the drive and oomf out of you, where will that leave you? At the guest of honor table at a self pity party feeling unloved and unworthy. Who can deal with that?

Be wise. Pray to God for the real deal when it comes to friends and watch them grow you as God grows you all.

Blessings and Love

Your friend,

Nyandia.